It can be hard for a teenager when her peers move from the excitement of “can I sign your cast” to “it’s really going to hurt when they take it off”?
Fresh out of a visit to hospital with my daughter yesterday, I’m reminded of the importance of feelings. It seems all too obvious, that a trip to hospital will result in feelings of anxiety and fear.
Photo from: http://www.clipartpanda.com
Yet my thirteen year old had shown stoicism from the outset of breaking her arm. She picked herself up and trudged across the sporting field asking for her water bottle. Meanwhile I hastened to keep up, asking her to slow down. Over the weeks she coped with waits at two hospital emergency departments, an adult’s hospital and a children’s hospital, then repeated waiting at orthopaedic and x-ray clinic queues. She had it down pat and knew where to go and what to do, seeing herself as one of the many other children waiting for treatment.
There were certainly challenges along the way, worst being no food or drink and for me watching the pain under gas as her arm was manipulated and put back into shape. Once again I had to hasten to keep up as she jumped up after the procedure to head off to make an appointment at the orthopaedic clinic. The only sign of something being wrong was the cast from wrist and over bent elbow.
Later that night the pain and challenge of sleeping with a heavy bent elbow came. This was followed by challenges of dressing, washing, undertaking school work with her weak arm and carrying a heavy bag which included books and a laptop. Transport on the bus with kids pushing and pulling also led to pain and concern. Despite all this she managed to walk, run and dance her way through the weeks.
So where in all this resiliency do fearful feelings occur? It can be hard for a teenager when her peers move from the excitement of “can I sign your cast” to “it’s really going to hurt when they take it off” and so the stories begin.
I wasn’t prepared for my daughter’s sleepless night that preceded the day when the cast came off or for the impact of some of the “kid-fabricated” stories.As we waited one last time in the waiting room she was distracted by the funny things around her, a parent talking to their young child about what was on TV, “look there’s a penguin with a rainbow coloured beak”, no it’s a puffin she thought! Just when things weren’t looking good she was called up. One boy had cheered earlier when his name was called, adults chuckled, a moment of relief.
What made the difference to my daughter’s trepidation were the explanations health professionals gave. Speaking to her and demonstrating the procedure of having the cast taken off made all the difference. Phrases like “what you can expect”, “what you might expect” were really helpful. She even smiled as the cast came off. She was glad her arm was not green.
Being “armed” with information makes all the difference. The first test of this was as she reluctantly passed by the swings on our way to the car. It was great to know that she understood and can resist the temptation to hop on a swing, bike or other moving object.
How can books and resources help?
As parents, we won’t always know what our children are feeling. The AWCH library holds books to help adolescents and children understand what they are feeling. There are books written to help children identify and manage how they are feeling so they can develop self-esteem and coping skills.
A book to help adolescents is the Stress reduction workbook for teens: mindfulness skills to help you deal with stress. Teenagers can use this easy to read workbook with activities to develop an understanding of what stress is and how to live in the present moment, “mindfulness”. They will gain a sense of control over stressful situations and develop resilience.
Nowadays there are plenty of online resources to help children and families prepare for hospital experiences, an example for young children is the child-friendly free app Okee in medical imaging. This fun app will help young children learn all about medical imaging and feel relaxed and supported.
Help! My Child’s in Hospital has practical advice for parents on preparing their child for hospital. Visit the website to find out about other families experiences.
‘Extraordinary Parenting’ is a helpful manual written for parents who have children with chronic physical or medical conditions. The book is set out in a readable format with clearly presented information. You will find simple illustrations, photographs and a bibliography. In addition, it is written in an Australian context.
Ordinary children are faced with extraordinary circumstances and in the book parents are given psychosocial information to support their children. Topics covered are varied and range from looking at a child’s psychological and emotional world to experiences such as hospitalisation, medication taking, sleep overs and camps or life in the school playground. Extraordinary parenting encompasses child development stages and age appropriate information for up to early teens. There is an emphasis on raising awareness of what a child and family may be experiencing whilst looking at important emotions such as anxiety, self-perception and depression. Parents are encouraged to focus on their “best intentions” rather being caught up in guilt. Find an abundance of practical information, for example throughout the manual at the end of each chapter, readers will find the heading “Psychological protection : what you can do”. Children and families can build understanding and develop skills for good self-esteem and resilience.
The author draws on her experience of over 20 years from working children, adolescents and adults in the fields of psychology, social work and literature. Dr Bruce works in private practice at the Emotional Health Centre, Cheltenham, Victoria. Extraordinary parenting can be viewed online in chapter format and/or purchased at: http://www.emotionalhealthcentre.com.au/page.php?id=557
The AWCH library holds two copies and both are available for loan.
Extraordinary parenting : protecting self-esteem and minimising depressive outcomes in pre-adolescent children who have significant medical or physical conditions (Cover title: Extraordinary parenting : a manual for parents of children aged 0-12 with chronic physical or medical conditions). Emotional Health Centre, Cheltenham, VIC. 2007, 168 p. ISBN 9780980420609.
By Dr Elizabeth J. Bruce PhD, edited by Dr Cynthia L. Schultz, illustrations by Colin Bruce
Subjects: Chronic diseases in children – Psychological aspects. Chronically ill children – Family relationships. Chronically ill children – Education. Chronic disease – In infancy & childhood.
Self discovery is a wonderful thing and I believe we are evolving as individuals every day. But often those with a chronic illness reach a particularly bad patch during their lives, one which shatters their world.
From my conversations with various other people and professionals it seems the magic number for those with complex or chronic issues is that of 20-something. You reach 20-something and your health does a belly flop and you wonder where the good days went. I myself as a 20-something year old hit my bad patch roughly two years ago and it took me almost 2 years to stabilise and come to terms with my new ‘normal’. The biggest realisation was how stressful my life actually was and how it was impacting on my already problematic health.
We live in a world which is so fast paced and over scheduled that often we forget to take the time out for ourselves (which I am very guilty of) which is so vital when you have a complex or chronic health issue. Having the ability to stop and say ‘leave me alone I need to do something for me’ is what has brought me to my new ‘normal’. For me it was a trip to Thailand before I realised that my job wasn’t helping my health amongst other things and after much anguish I made some terrifying (initially) sacrifices which in turn helped me stabilise, reduce my medication intake, become happier and less sore.
I am writing this now as with the lead up to Christmas everyone is stressed and sometimes we don’t even realise what the stressors are to remind us (including myself) all to do something each day for yourself, go for a walk, take up fencing, play with your pet, lie in the grass and look up at the clouds. If it all gets too much remember there are services you can access any time of the day or night to help you through the silly season, your health transitions and life. GP’s are a fantastic first point of contact but if your not comfortable talking to yours or you don’t have a ‘good’ GP then there are services such as below available for you.
At the end of the day we are all on this roller coaster together!
This Blog was contributed by: Michelle Taylor
AWCH Youth Representative
DISCLAIMER:The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity. Information provided by blog contributors are not intended to replace qualified medical or other professional advise and for diagnosis, treatment and medication you should consult a health practitioner.